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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28639227">i feel the light (for the very first time)</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/punkfistfights/pseuds/punkfistfights'>punkfistfights</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>not anybody knows (that i am lucky to be alive) [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>The Magicians (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Cunnilingus, Developing Relationship, Episode: s01e13 Have You Brought Me Little Cakes, Episode: s02e01 Knight of Crowns, F/M, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Oral Sex, Peaches and Plums Stockings 2020, Smut, Vaginal Sex</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-01-09</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-01-09</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 12:22:42</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>5,672</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28639227</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/punkfistfights/pseuds/punkfistfights</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Julia chooses to trust that Quentin and his friends will help her. Alice kills the Beast on her first attempt. This sets a lot of changes in place.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Alice Quinn &amp; Eliot Waugh, Minor or Background Relationship(s), Quentin Coldwater &amp; Alice Quinn, William “Penny” Adiyodi/Alice Quinn, hints of future William “Penny” Adiyodi/Margo Hanson/Alice Quinn</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>not anybody knows (that i am lucky to be alive) [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/2098719</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>Peaches and Plums Stockings 2020</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>i feel the light (for the very first time)</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><ul class="associations">
      <li>For <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/PanBoleyn/gifts">PanBoleyn</a>.</li>



    </ul><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>happy holidays kate! it was supposed to be pennmalice but instead it’s gonna be a series of post-1x13 canon divergent one shots that will eventually build into pennmalice. i’m not entirely sure where the smut came from, it kind of just happened. oops! if you want to skip it, it’s pretty irrelevant to the plot of the story and starts at “She and Penny stared at each other in silence” and ends with “she whispered into his neck.” </p>
<p>anyways, a lot of the dialogue in “before” and “later” is taken directly from 1x13 and 2x01, but with my twist in some cases. </p>
<p>thanks to my friend bea for giving it a quick beta read &lt;3</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p><em> And <strong>I feel the light for the very first time</strong><br/>
Not anybody knows that I am lucky to be alive<br/>
And I feel the light for the very first time<br/>
Not anybody knows that I am lucky to be alive<br/> 
-  </em> <strong><span class="u">Lucky</span> AURORA</strong></p><hr/>
<p>
  <em> before.  </em>
</p>
<p>“I’m going to help you,” Quentin said. “My <em> friends </em> are going to help. I promise, whatever that means.” </p>
<p>“It means find him. It means kill him,” Julia said, her voice shaking. “And somehow, I doubt that that’s easy, or even possible.” </p>
<p>Quentin gulped. “Well, you help us do something impossible and we’ll do the same for you.” </p>
<p>Later, Julia’s eyes strayed to the magical blade hanging from Alice’s waist. She considered stealing it, making a deal with Martin, doing whatever she had to so she could kill Reynard. Then she remembered Quentin’s promise and how awful the months without him had been and...she didn’t want to lose him. Martin would kill Quentin if he got the chance; she couldn’t risk his life, even if it meant Reynard would die. </p>
<p>So instead she had to just hope that Quentin and his friends would actually be able to help her. </p>
<p>She hated this so fucking much. </p>
<p>
  <em> later.  </em>
</p>
<p>Alice was a killer. She’s not the only killer in their group—she knew Eliot killed the man the Beast had been possessing, and she had watched Margo shoot someone to protect Eliot. But she was the one who had killed the Beast and she’d done it with a blade through his heart, when he’d been about to attack Quentin. </p>
<p>She had killed so she could save Quentin, her ex-boyfriend who had broken her heart by sleeping with two of his best friends. Quentin, who had somehow managed to be the most important person in her life and the one who had hurt her the most. </p>
<p>The Beast hadn’t died easy. He had nearly killed Alice, he had managed to cut Penny’s hands off. But he was the only one to die there and that was because of Alice. </p>
<p>Alice was the hero of this story. </p>
<p>Alice was a killer. </p>
<p>They were all sitting around a picnic table outside of Eliot’s wife house—fuck, Eliot was <em> married </em> to a <em> woman, </em>and maybe she didn’t know Eliot well but she knew he wouldn’t have chosen that if he had been given a choice and even though she was angry at him (not nearly as angry as she was at Quentin, but more angry than she was at Margo for some reason that even she didn’t understand), she wouldn’t have wished this on him. Quentin was sitting on a stump at one end of the table with Julia standing beside him, while Eliot sat on Quentin’s other side, with Margo on the stump next to his left. Alice was standing next to her and Penny stood a little way off, using his forearms to hold the box Alice had put his hands in. </p>
<p>“We’ll have more resources at Whitespire, since El is the High King,” Quentin said, staring down at one of his Fillory books. “We should, uh, we should head there and see what we can find and let the, um, Fillorian people know that the Beast is, you know, dead.” </p>
<p>“It’s as good a plan as any,” Eliot said. “Whitespire it is!” He stood up. </p>
<p>“Yeah, just to remind you assholes, my hands are in a fucking box!” Penny interjected. “So, Chatwin’s Torrent?” </p>
<p>“Oh, I actually know that one. That’s the, um, the healing spring,” Eliot said. </p>
<p>“Can it reattach hands?” Penny asked, staring at Quentin. </p>
<p>Quentin bit at his lip. “Maybe,” he said. </p>
<p>“Yeah, then I’m going. I’ll catch you dicks on the flip,” Penny said, monotone. </p>
<p>Alice startled. “Wait, Penny! I don’t think you should go alone. You can’t do magic right now and we don’t know how dangerous it is here.” </p>
<p>Margo said, “I’ll go.” Everyone looked at her and she shrugged. “Healing water can always come in use, I’ll get a fuckton.” She stood up and strode over to Penny. </p>
<p>Alice did not especially want to be around Quentin right now. “I’ll come too! The more people, the better. Plus, then it’s an even split.” </p>
<p>Margo shrugged again. “Hurry up then, Kitten. You get to wipe Penny’s ass for him.” </p>
<p>Penny sneered at her, rolling his eyes. Alice felt a flush spread across the bridge of her nose and the tops of her cheeks. “Shut up, Margo,” she snapped. </p>
<p>Margo’s only response was to blow her a kiss. </p>
<p>The trip to Chatwin’s Torrent didn’t take long and was mostly silent; Penny was obviously in shock and even Margo didn’t seem to want to push him. When they got there, Alice felt awestruck for a brief moment. </p>
<p>The river was beautiful with water so clear that it almost didn’t exist, like a plane of glass showcasing the grit at the bottom. The trees surrounding it were tall with leaves greener than any Alice had ever seen. Alice could <em> feel </em> the magic in the air and it was like none she’d ever felt before, welcoming and almost friendly. Penny immediately stalked forward, as if he was in a trance. </p>
<p>“So, what do I...do?” Penny asked, sounding lost. </p>
<p>“Well, per the books, you strip and jump in, I guess. Here, I’ll help you,” Margo said, uncharacteristically gentle. </p>
<p>An unfamiliar voice cut in, “You’ll need to help him sew those back on on his wrists!” </p>
<p>Alice jerked and spun to the man who had spoken. He was a short, thin, balding man with a dirty face and a slight smile. </p>
<p>“Who are you?” Penny yelled. </p>
<p>“I...watch the river,” the man said, looking at the Torrent before turning back to them, “and assist those who require its magic.” He was holding a needle and what appeared to be a metal thread. He held it up to show them. </p>
<p>“This guy is fucking weird,” Margo said. </p>
<p>“What do you <em> want </em>?” Alice asked, when it became apparent the other two weren’t going to say anything. </p>
<p>The River Watcher laughed. “Why do you assume I want something?” he asked. “Can’t I help out of the goodness of my heart?” </p>
<p>Alice scoffed. “In my experience, everyone wants something,” she snapped. </p>
<p>The River Watcher shrugged. “I mean, twenty gold pieces is the customary payment for use of the River.” </p>
<p>“Okay, that sounds like a lot,” Margo said, wrinkling her nose. </p>
<p>“You were just going to let me use the Torrent without telling me, weren’t you?!” Penny snapped. “If Alice wasn’t here, I wouldn’t have known and you would have sprung it on me after I had already healed!” </p>
<p>The River Watcher held a hand over his heart. “How dastardly!” he cried. “I would never be so conniving.” </p>
<p>“I don’t believe you, you slimy—” Penny began. </p>
<p>“Stop it, Penny,” Alice said. She peered at the River Watcher, her lips pursed. “Would you accept a Word as Bond that while we can’t pay you now, we will come back to do so?” </p>
<p>“What is a Word as Bond?” the River Watcher asked, arching his eyebrows. </p>
<p>Alice’s lips spread into a thin smile. “It is a spell that makes it so if we break our word, we die or lose our magic,” she said. “I can create the sigil if you have paper and something to write with.” </p>
<p>“That would be...satisfactory,” the River Watcher said. “Here, I’ll get you parchment and a quill now.” </p>
<p>He dug through his pockets before pulling out a small piece of paper and a nubby quill. Alice snatched it out of his hands and kneeled so she could press the paper against a boulder. Quickly, she sketched the sigil and put her intent into it before handing it back to the River Watcher. He glanced over it. </p>
<p>“Looks good to me,” he said. Alice’s answering smile was cool. </p>
<p>“Prick your finger and run it over the sigil to seal it with blood and I’ll do the same,” she said. </p>
<p>They quickly did so, before pressing the palms of their hands against the paper once the magic was activated. Alice hissed as it was branded on her, the River Watcher yelped. “There, now we will have to return with your gold,” Alice said. She didn’t tell him the terms she had added. </p>
<p>The River Watcher beamed at her. “You are a lovely woman,” he said. </p>
<p>She bared her teeth in a way that must have passed for a smile. Penny and Margo said nothing as they stared at them. </p>
<p>The River Watcher proceeded to quickly sew Penny’s hands back on before gesturing for him to strip and head into the Torrent. </p>
<p>There was a long, silent moment as Penny headed over to some boulders and held his arms up before submerging himself. </p>
<p>The River Watcher stared at Alice and Margo. “You know, you’re both very beautiful,” he said. </p>
<p>Margo huffed before making commiserating eye contact with Alice. She allowed an amused smile to quirk the corners of her lips upward. </p>
<p>“Where are you two from, hmm?” the River Watcher added. “Earth? <em> Love </em> women from Earth.” </p>
<p>Alice wrinkled her nose. </p>
<p>“Is it supposed to take this long?” Margo asked, handily ignoring how creepy the River Watcher was being. </p>
<p>“No,” he drawled. “He may have drowned.” </p>
<p>Alice felt her face crease with horror as Margo glared at the River Watcher. “Are you <em> kidding </em>? Why didn’t you—” she began, taking her satchel off. </p>
<p>Penny breached the surface then, gasping in a deep breath. Alice felt like cheering. </p>
<p>“Oh, oh, oh. There we go.” </p>
<p>After Penny was dressed, the River Watcher began attempting to wheedle them into buying something else. </p>
<p>“We’re good,” Alice said. “Oh, before we go, I should let you know your side of the Bond.” </p>
<p>The River Watched froze. “What do you mean...my side?” he asked. </p>
<p>Alice’s lips curled into something a little cruel. “Well, a Bond goes both ways,” she said. “We’ll bring you your twenty gold and you have to tell every person who comes to use the Torrent the restrictions <em> immediately </em>.” </p>
<p>Next to her, she heard Margo trying to contain laughter. </p>
<p>The River Watcher paled. “You said nothing of that before I sealed the sigil,” he said. </p>
<p>Alice shrugged. “I must have forgotten,” she said. Before he could say anything else, she added, “Also, our friend recently became High King. I would advise <em> against </em> trying to retaliate.” </p>
<p>With that, she turned away from with a flounce and set off in the woods. Margo and Penny hurried after her. </p>
<p>“Kitten, that was fucking hot!” Margo said, laughing freely now. “Who knew you were such a conniving bitch? I love it!” </p>
<p>“It was pretty fucking awesome,” Penny said. “I would’ve gone off on the asshole, I never would’ve thought to trick him like that.” </p>
<p>Alice giggled. “Well, neither of you grew up with my mother,” she said. They both laughed. </p>
<p>“I’ll cast a tracking spell to find the others,” Margo said. “Can’t wait to tell them what a badass you are, in every way.” </p>
<p>Alice felt a smile, something genuine this time, grow across her face. “Shut up,” she said, ducking her head so her hair would cover her cheeks, which must be glowing bright red. </p>
<p>It didn’t take them long to find the others. Julia was pressed close to Quentin, who was leading the group, with Eliot trailing behind them. Alice felt her anger and heartache settle back into the bottom of her stomach at the sight of them.  </p>
<p>“El! We found you!” Margo yelled, breathing heavily. The three turned to them. “Let’s do this. I call High fucking Queen, by the way.” </p>
<p>Eliot beamed at her, chuckling. </p>
<p>“Did it work?” Quentin asked Penny. </p>
<p>Penny grinned at him, flexing his fingers. “Perfect, thanks to Alice. Lead the way.” </p>
<p>Quentin nodded and the three turned back the way they were heading, leaving Alice’s group to catch up with them. </p>
<p>It wasn’t a particularly long hike to get to where Quentin was leading them and when they reached a beautiful bridge covered in flowers of every color, Alice felt her heart in her throat and hot tears in her eyes. She wasn’t used to such beauty. </p>
<p>As they were crossing it, Alice asked, “So, what exactly are we doing?” </p>
<p>“Eliot has to be crowned High King before we can go to Whitespire,” Quentin said, looking forward. “He gets to choose three other monarchs, another king and, um, two queens. Obviously, Margo is going to be his High Queen and he already said he was choosing me to be the other king. So...we just need another queen.” </p>
<p>Alice and Julia made brief eye contact before Julia turned her head back to the front. Alice thought about it. Did she want to be a Queen? She wasn’t even sure if she wanted to stay in Fillory, she thought. Maybe she could travel between Fillory and Brakebills and learn as much as possible—Penny might even be willing to help with that, he had said they were friends, before. Being a Queen was too much responsibility for her, she just wanted to learn. “Let Julia be Queen,” she eventually said. “I’m not interested and you mentioned before that she loved Fillory as much as you do, when you were kids.” </p>
<p>A weak smile painted its way on Julia’s pretty lips as she turned her head back to Alice again. “I’d like that,” she said softly. </p>
<p>“Then it’s decided,” Eliot said. “Lucky how things work out.” </p>
<p>Alice snorted. </p>
<p>Once they had crossed it and reached the other side, onto a cliff, Alice looked around. There was a man dressed as a knight leaning heavily on a rock. </p>
<p>“Do you think he’s sleeping or dead?” Eliot asked. </p>
<p>Quentin jerked towards him. “I don’t know, should we just go into the trunk?” </p>
<p>Penny scoffed. “Oh, pussies,” he said, pushing past Quentin and walking towards the knight, the rest of them trailing behind him. </p>
<p>“He looks dead,” Margo said. </p>
<p>Quentin added, “I guess we’re late.” </p>
<p>As Penny approached the knight, the man’s eyes startled open and he coughed out dust. They all flinched back and Penny held up a hand, as if to defend himself. </p>
<p>“Oh dear,” the knight said in a raspy voice as he stared down at his hands before looking up at them and repeating himself with wide eyes. </p>
<p>He struggled to stand up before saying, “I am the Knight of Crowns. Uh, my apologies. I seemed to have died waiting for you aspirants to come.” He chuckled and stuttered out, “You are aspirants?” </p>
<p>Eliot heaved off his bags and strode forward. “I’m the High King of Fillory. I took a blood test,” he said, sounding almost confident. It was weird how Alice could see through his mask these days. She had always thought Eliot was arrogant and untouchable, now she thought he was just sad and kind of an asshole. </p>
<p>“Excellent, excellent. It’s an honor,” the knight said, bowing slightly. </p>
<p>Eliot jerkily copied the motion. </p>
<p>“Can we have the crowns please?” Margo snapped. Alice glanced at her out of the corner of her eye; she looked beyond impatient. </p>
<p>“Certainly. Honored to oblige,” the knight said, bowing his head again. “Just as soon as you pass the test.” </p>
<p>Everyone sighed. “Of course there’s a test,” Quentin said, dropping his bag to the ground. </p>
<p>“It certainly tracks,” Julia said, rolling her eyes. </p>
<p>Alice and Penny stepped aside, away from the rest of the group, and Penny leaned against a rock. “This is ridiculous,” he muttered under his breath as the knight started talking again. </p>
<p>Alice barked out a soft laugh. “It really is,” she said. </p>
<p>“Quentin must be having the time of his life,” Penny added. “This is basically his wet dream.” </p>
<p>Alice laughed again, a little mean this time. “You’re not wrong.” </p>
<p>The knight asked a really weird question about a tv program with Tim Daly. Eliot made a face. “What the fuck?” he asked. </p>
<p>“He was in a lot of tv shows,” Alice said. She had never really cared about Tim Daly, but her mom had really liked him on <em> The Sopranos </em>. Next to her, Penny smothered a laugh. She elbowed him, making a face. </p>
<p>“There is only one correct answer,” the knight said sharply. </p>
<p>“Okay. Give me the next question,” Eliot said. </p>
<p>“This hit single is performed by offspring of famous entertainers,” the knight said. What was this, Jeopardy? </p>
<p>“Dude, that is crazy vague,” Margo said. Julia made a noise echoing the sentiment. </p>
<p>“You will receive a single hint. Your hint is <em> Beach Boys </em>.” </p>
<p>Oh, Alice actually knew this! “‘Hold On’ by Wilson Phillips,” she and Margo said in unison. </p>
<p>The boys and Julia cut them a weird look, Penny not even trying to smother his laughter this time. </p>
<p>Margo shrugged. “That song is my jam,” she said. </p>
<p>“Are all these questions from the 90s?” Julia asked, her eyebrows creasing. </p>
<p>“It—it’s not the 1990s on Earth right now?” the knight asked. </p>
<p>“No, it—it’s 2017?” Quentin said. “Oh, and it’s, uh, ‘Wings’, the Tim Daly show. ‘Wings’.” </p>
<p>“Ugh, I hated ‘Wings’,” Julia said. </p>
<p>“Of course you know that,” Penny said to Quentin. Alice pursed her lips to hide a smile. </p>
<p>“Okay,” Eliot said. “90s. Ask me something about Patrick Swayze.” </p>
<p>The knight looked shocked as he said, “You know of Swayze?” </p>
<p>Eliot walked over and grabbed Alice’s hand before leading them before so they were standing in front of the knight and beginning the monologue from <em> Dirty Dancing </em>with a surprisingly good Swayze impression. Alice was enraptured against her will. </p>
<p>“Oh, Your Majesty,” the knight said in awe. He bowed again. “The crowns of Fillory are yours.” Alice hid a smile before walking back to where Penny was sitting. </p>
<p>“Why am I not surprised Waugh could do that?” he asked. </p>
<p>“I guess he’s just as nerdy as Quentin, in his own way,” Alice said under her breath. Penny chuckled. </p>
<p>Quentin stopped Eliot from just putting on the crown and the proceeding speeches were surprisingly sweet. Quentin dubbed Eliot spectacular and Julia brilliant, Eliot called Margo the Destroyer and Quentin the Valiant. It was all touching and Alice felt a little awkward watching it. Everyone applauded at the end. </p>
<p>Afterwards, Eliot walked over to Alice. “Can I talk to you? Privately?” he asked. </p>
<p>Alice looked at Penny, who shrugged at her, before she silently nodded and followed Eliot over to a rock slightly apart from the group. “I feel it’s incumbent upon me to promise to never betray you again,” he began. “I’m really so sorry, Alice. I have some character defects. I’m working on it. Honestly.” </p>
<p>Alice felt tears in her eyes again and she nodded. “I’m working on some too,” she admitted. </p>
<p>Eliot smiled at her and he still looked sad, but maybe like less of an asshole. “Well, on that note. If I had gotten to crown you, I think I would have chosen the Wise.” </p>
<p>Her answering smile was only a little watery. “Thanks, Eliot. You deserve to be known as Spectacular.” </p>
<p>He ducked his head. “I—thank you.” He pressed a kiss to her forehead. </p>
<p>They headed back over to the group, which had started a small fire. Quentin jumped up before they reached them. “Hey, Alice, can I—can I maybe talk to you, um, can I talk to you too?” </p>
<p>“Little Miss Alice is very popular today,” Margo cooed. Alice glared at her and received a wink in return. </p>
<p>“I—okay, we can talk,” Alice said to Quentin. </p>
<p>They walked over to where she and Eliot had been standing. “Look, I talked to Julia and I—fuck, Vix, I’m so sorry,” Quentin began. “I’ve been a huge dick to you, again and again, and I haven’t really apologized and I know nothing I can say will make it better and—” </p>
<p>“Apology accepted,” Alice interrupted. “Look, I just—I want to be friends still, Q. I know it probably sounds stupid, but that’s why this sucked so much. <em> That’s </em> why I’m so angry. Not—not you cheating on me, though that was awful. I’m angry because I lost you. You were my best friend, my first friend, and I fucking lost you.” </p>
<p>“You can’t lose me,” Quentin said. “You could <em> never </em> lose me. This is going to be terrible and I had some, some stupid fucking thoughts about winning you back, but I—I want to be in your life, in any way you allow. I want to be your friend.” </p>
<p>“I’m not a prize to be won,” Alice said. “You know that, right?” </p>
<p>“I do,” Quentin said. “You’re not a prize, you’re...Vix. You’re one of my best friends and you were the most important part of my day and you’re a total badass and you deserve so much better than me being an asshole and fucking you over.” </p>
<p>Alice nodded. Fuck, she was so tired of crying. “I do deserve better,” she said. “But I also deserve you in my life, because that’s what I want.” </p>
<p>“Then that’s what you get,” Quentin said. </p>
<p>She beamed at him and jolted forward to hug him. “Okay,” she said. </p>
<p>“Okay,” he repeated. </p>
<p>They headed back to the fire and Quentin plopped between Julia and Eliot while Alice gingerly sat down next to Penny. </p>
<p>“So, to Whitespire we go,” Eliot said. </p>
<p>“Actually, first, I need to talk to you guys,” Julia said. Everyone nodded at her. None of them knew her, other than Quentin, but she had been there for the Beast and that made her one of them, in a way. “Look, while you were dealing with the Beast, I had...my own shit. I didn’t get accepted into Brakebills and I ended up running with some fucked up Hedges for a while, which I’m sure you all know. After what happened with Q and the Scarlotti Web...I was kicked out of the coven I was in because I told Fogg how to break the curse. And I’m not telling you guys everything because frankly it’s none of your business but eventually I joined another coven and...something horrible happened.” She stopped, staring into the distance. </p>
<p>“What happened?” Margo prompted. </p>
<p>“We...we tried to summon Our Lady Underground. We fucked it up somehow and instead someone calling himself Reynard the Fox came through and he. He fucking killed everyone.” </p>
<p>Alice gasped, her hand flying up to cover her mouth. That paralleled what happened with Charlie and the Beast earlier this year a little too closely. </p>
<p>“How did you survive?” Penny asked, sounding gentle in the way he got sometimes. </p>
<p>“He...he was going to kill my friend, Kady—” </p>
<p>“Wait, Kady Orloff-Diaz?” Penny asked, lurching forward. </p>
<p>Julia blinked at him. “Right. I, uh, I forgot she went to Brakebills for awhile. Yeah, her. He was going to kill her but I got in his way and instead he. He. He assaulted me. And then he left. Q said you guys would, mm, help me. Help me find him and try to kill him,” she said. </p>
<p>The group exchanged looks. They had helped each other with the Beast because he kept coming after them and because of their attachment to Quentin, which they didn’t have with Julia. None of them <em> needed </em> to help Julia like they had helped Quentin before. </p>
<p>But, as Alice made eye contact with Penny, Margo, and Eliot, she knew they were going to anyways. </p>
<p>“Okay,” Margo said. “We’ll help you. Maybe we’ll find something in Whitespire that will help us kill what might be a god.” </p>
<p>Fuck, how did they get into these messes? </p>
<p>
  <em> even later.  </em>
</p>
<p>They had gotten to the castle and been allowed in easily enough. After each being given a room, Alice decided some time to herself might be in her best interest. </p>
<p>She stepped into the bathroom that connected to the room and stared at the large standing bathtub for a long moment before lifting her hands and deftly casting a spell to fill it with steaming water. She could feel her tense muscles relax as soon as she climbed in. She reclined her head against the cool back of it and all but melted into the tub. </p>
<p>It didn’t take long for her thoughts to drift to a dark place. She was a killer. She had done what needed to be done and she was happy it had been her, but even so a part of her felt dirty. She had felt his blood on her hands even hours after she first vanished it. </p>
<p>Alice didn’t regret having killed the Beast, he had needed to be stopped. She just couldn’t stop thinking of the tragedy that had been Martin Chatwin and wished that it hadn’t had to be her that brought his life to an end. </p>
<p>Eventually, she drained the tub and got out. She felt tense again and lonely in a way she almost couldn’t articulate. Perhaps it would be best if she didn’t spend tonight alone. </p>
<p>She weighed who to seek out. Despite having made amends with Quentin, she didn’t especially want to see him at the moment. The same was true of Eliot and Margo. And she didn’t know Julia very well. </p>
<p>Penny it was. </p>
<p>She dug through the wardrobe in the corner of her room until she found a loose, white gown that was either to sleep in or to put under a much more elaborate dress. She slipped it over head and tugged her black cotton underwear from earlier back on (she’d need to speak to Penny about going to Brakebills to pick up clothing, at least) before putting her shoes back and leaving her room to head down the hall to his. </p>
<p>When she knocked on the door, he was quick to open it. At the sight of her, he smiled a bit. “Hey, Alice,” he said. “I guess you can come in.” </p>
<p>It looked like Penny had been getting ready for bed. He was barefoot and shirtless, wearing only a pair of thin linen trousers. He sat on his mattress and smiled at her again. “What’s going on? Another disaster strike?” he said. </p>
<p>“I was just...bored. I didn’t want to be alone.” She shrugged. </p>
<p>“I bet,” he laughed. “Not in the mood to see Quentin?” </p>
<p>“Not particularly,” she admitted. She hadn’t been lying earlier when she said she wanted to be friends with him again but she also hadn’t been lying when she said she was angry. </p>
<p>Penny snorted. “Fair enough. I’m more interesting anyways.” </p>
<p>Alice giggled as she wrapped her arms around her torso. </p>
<p>“Alice, come and sit down. Your wards are tight as ever but you’re basically radiating anxiety,” Penny said, patting the bed next to him. </p>
<p>Alice nodded, kicking her shoes off before making her way over, folding her legs under her as she sat down. “Sorry for bothering you, it’s just...it’s been a really long day,” she said. </p>
<p>Penny snorted. “You’re preaching to the fucking choir,” he said, staring down at his large hands and flexing his fingers. </p>
<p>Her lips curved into a weak smile. She knew she wasn’t the only one who’d been through hell today and it was kind of nice to be around someone else who just got it, who didn’t need an explanation and who didn’t expect anything more than she was willing to share. </p>
<p>“I killed a man today,” she said. “I never thought I’d do that.” </p>
<p>“You did what you had to do. If it weren’t for you, I’d be fucking dead. Don’t feel bad, Alice, you proved you’re as big of a badass as I always thought you were today.” </p>
<p>She and Penny stared at each other in silence for a moment before she rocked forward and slammed their lips together. </p>
<p>Well, this wasn’t the plan but she hoped Penny didn’t mind because she liked it more than awkwardly sitting around and she wasn’t sure how much more of this conversation she could take. </p>
<p>Penny let out a surprised groan as his hands fell to the curve of her hips, easily spanning them. “You sure?” he breathed into her mouth. </p>
<p>She whimpered and nodded desperately. “Yes, don’t stop,” she said, sliding the palms of her hands—so much smaller than his but just as powerful, if not more so—around his broad shoulders and gripping at them. </p>
<p>Penny hummed before returning to the kiss, wrapping one arm around her waist while his other hand travelled up to tangle itself in her hair. </p>
<p>She moaned as she felt his tongue prod at her lips and opened her mouth so he could slip it in. She dug her short nails into his biceps and he hissed. </p>
<p>“That feels so good,” she mumbled. He chuckled and curled his hand around the back of her head, gently cupping it. His other hand moved to her thigh, pushing her dress up and she pulled away long enough to yank it over her head and drop it on the ground, leaving her in only her underwear. </p>
<p>Penny stared at her, his dark eyes heavily lidded. “Holy shit, I know I said this last time, but fuck you’re so beautiful.” </p>
<p>Alice flushed. “Thanks,” she said, crossing her arms over her stomach, right below her chest. Normally, when men said things like that she was pretty sure they were just talking about her tits but it felt different with Penny. It felt like he saw her and in his eyes she was a work of art. </p>
<p>She couldn’t hold back anymore. With a single jerky move, she slid her underwear down her legs and let it fall next to her abandoned nightdress. Next to her, Penny was kicking his pants off as well, revealing his heavy, half-hard cock. Alice squirmed, rubbing her thighs together and feeling how slick they had already gotten with her arousal. As soon as Penny was naked, she climbed into his lap and pressed a deep kiss into his mouth. He gripped her thighs and surged upwards, knocking his cock against the soft skin of her stomach. </p>
<p>“You’re so gorgeous, fuck, I want you so bad,” he said as he pulled away from her mouth and trailed kisses down her jaw and neck. </p>
<p>She buried her hands in his hair and arched her back. “I want you too,” she gasped. “Come on, come on.” </p>
<p>One of his hands moved from her thigh to her cunt, pressing his nimble fingers to her slit and massaging right above where her clitoris was as he bit her collarbone. Her hips hitched and she rocked against his fingers. </p>
<p>“Can I lick you?” he asked. </p>
<p>“Yes, please, fuck.” </p>
<p>Penny groaned into her chest. “I love it when you cuss,” he admitted. “It’s so fucking hot when you let your Ice Queen facade fall away.” </p>
<p>Alice laughed, breathy and ending in a moan. “Well, right now, I love the idea of you fucking me,” she said. </p>
<p>He flipped them over so she was lying on the bed and settled on his knees on the ground, pressing soft kisses against her damp thighs and breathing lightly on her vulva. “You’re so fucking sexy, Alice,” he said before dragging his tongue up her cunt. </p>
<p>Her legs snapped around his head, the muscles of her thighs flexing around him as he lathered attention on her clit, kissing it with an open mouth and tonguing at it. “Fuck, fuck, fuck,” she moaned, her voice jumping up a pitch and her fingers tangling into his short hair. “I want a finger, Penny, give me a finger, come on.” </p>
<p>He listened, sliding a finger right into her and her cunt clenched around it eagerly. “Fuck, you’re so desperate to get fucked, it’s so hot,” he said, working his tongue into her with the finger. She groaned and rocked against him. </p>
<p>She was getting close to her peak. “Stop, I want you in me,” she said, letting go of him and running through some quick tuts she had been taught when she was fifteen, to make it safe to fuck without a condom. </p>
<p>He moaned and moved so he was on the bed with her. “I want you to ride me, beautiful, I wanna see you on my cock.” </p>
<p>“Fuck, I want that too,” she said. </p>
<p>When he reclined onto his back, she threw her leg over his lap and settled so she could rub against his dick. She ground against him, once, twice, before reaching down and pressing the head against her entrance before guiding it inside. </p>
<p>She was aroused enough that it slid into her with only a mild burn as she stretched around him and she quickly fell back onto his lap, rocking her hips as he grasped at her hip with one hand and pinched her nipple with the other. She pressed her hands to his chest. </p>
<p>She started working her thighs so she could ride him properly and it didn’t take long for her to get close again. “Fuck, Penny, I’m close, I’m going to—” she started babbling. </p>
<p>“Me too, gorgeous, I’m so close,” Penny huffed. “C’mon, just a little more.” </p>
<p>The heat at her core started spreading and she bounced up and down a few times before it exploded through her and she threw her head back. “Penny!” she cried out. </p>
<p>“Fuck!” Penny shouted, quickly following after her. </p>
<p>She slumped down on top of him, letting him slip out of her. “That was...so good,” she whispered into his neck. </p>
<p>“Fuck yeah it was,” he said, breathing heavily and draping his arms around her back. “Though I can’t say I was expecting it, after our talk the other day.” </p>
<p>Alice giggled. “Can’t we be friends who sleep together sometimes?” she asked, surprised at her own boldness. </p>
<p>He smacked a kiss to her cheek. “We can,” he said. “In fact, I would love that.” </p>
<p>“Good, then that’s what we are,” she said, burying her face in his neck. </p>
<p>Tonight had been a good way to distract her for a bit from the shitshow her life was becoming and she needed that, so she was going to actively grasp any chance she had at repeating it. </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>come talk to me about the magicians, pennlice, and ESPECIALLY pennmalice on <a href="http://punkfistfights.tumblr.com/">my tumblr</a></p></blockquote></div></div>
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